The Changing Face of Youth

My parents and my convent background inculcated into me a set of values, which today as I fast approach middle age and look around the society today, I realize do not hold any kind of meaning to today’s generation X or Y or whatever they choose to call themselves.  Growing up, I had my period of being the rebellious teenager and getting up to all kinds of mischief, which if my parents ever came to know, would land me into serious trouble. I remember the colossal row I got from my mother, when one Diwali I chose to go out with some boys and returned after midnight.

However, whatever I did or did not do, there was always this invisible boundary line that I never crossed. I like to think that it was due largely to the way my parents brought me up and a small part due to my own personality and disdain for cheap behavior. A few months back, I saw something that pulled me up short on the streets of Kolkata. A young couple, probably not more than 19 or 20 years, sitting in a hand pulled rickshaw. The girl was sitting on the boy’s lap, the hood of the rickshaw was thrown back and they were openly smooching. Despite myself, I stared at this sight. Often, riding shuttles with couples I have felt uncomfortable at the way they blatantly go ahead with their PDA. It does not embarrass them but it embarrasses the hell out of me and I am sure out of many a person whose paths they cross.

The other thing I notice is the skin show. Young girls today want to wear as little as possible. Diaphanous tops with no or little underwear and skirts or shorts that end only an inch below the crotch are worn with an air of nonchalance. Even at work, people turn up wearing clothes that make you want to close your eyes in shame.  The saree, our traditional Indian garment can be worn in many ways and I personally feel that it is an extremely sensual garment – in the way it covers yet provides glimpses of female curves.  Today’s young crowd disdains the saree as sadly out of fashion. If at all they wear it once in a blue moon, it is draped to show off as much of female assets as possible with backless or strapless cholis, leaving little to the imagination. When I wear sarees to work, I see the looks I get from my colleagues which clearly say “What a dinosaur!”  This year and the last, during the pujas I found girls roaming about wearing cocktail dresses and micro minis. Durga Puja  – one of the biggest Indian festivals and people choose to wear dresses that are in no way a part of the Indian culture or tradition.

Dress sense is something entirely personal and so also is the fact of how I choose to behave with my partner in public, I guess. What worries me from all that I see around is what kind of values do these youngsters hold? They are the future of India, the ones who will take India to the next level. But their attitude and behavior do not instill a sense of pride or confidence in me. I don’t know whether I sound like a crotchety old lady, but I honestly think that the young folks and their parents should take a step back and evaluate the way they are leading their lives. Instead of short skirts and PDA, why not focus on maintaining and nurturing our culture that makes us Indians unique in this world?

As a Bengali, Durga Puja is something inherent in my life. The sound of the dhak, new clothes, the huge pandals and crowds everywhere - all this never gets old. The sense of anticipation before the Pujas, the great times with family and friends, the scrumptious food consumed, is something I look forward to every year! DUring my years in the US, I made sure that I found out where a Durga Puja was being organized and turned up there - often ending up a little disappointed as nothing compares with how Kolkata does the Pujas.

Many Bengalis do not like to be in the city during the Pujas. Some turn up their nose at pandal-hopping! I am not one of those! I am a trueblooded Bong in this sense, that I want to experience everything the Puja offers. In the recent years, since my mother fell ill, there have been times, when I have spent the entire five days at home or worked till Ashtami and then spent the last two days at home moping about. I would not feel like going anywhere much or meeting anyone. But I could not shut out the sounds of enjoyment entirely. I would sit in my bedroom with a book or watch a movie - but my attention would be towards the people milling about outside. Inevitably, a sigh would escape! Then a couple of years back I decided, to hell with it. I would enjoy myself to the fullest and that is what I did.

This year Durga PUja will be different for me. This is my first Puja after marriage and I will take part in things in a way I have not done before as a single lady. So, the sense of anticipation is also different. What I have come to realize over these years is that, far more important than pandal hopping or lot of expensive clothes and jewelry or expansive food menus (though I consider these very important as well), is having family with you. It does not matter if you have a small family or a large one, spending time with them is what counts.

So my friends, amongst all your busy work schedules and demands of your social circle, please do spend time with your loved ones and make this Puja a memorable one..