To be or not to be

It's a new year and I felt that this warrants a blog post from me. Another year gone by, another milestone birthday just past and along with a few more grey strands of hair, I am choosing a rather difficult (for me) topic to write my first blog of 2016. I often hear the debate about single vs married. Having been a very determined single woman for thirty eight years, and then just getting married two years back, I think I can talk a little bit about both states. Of course I do think that I still have a lot to learn about marriage. What I want to tell all my friends out there who are contemplating matrimony (or a long term commitment) or fiercely protecting their single status, is that there is a good side and bad side to both.

Let me start by talking about being single. To be honest, it is not as bad or sad as it is made out to be. There is much to be said about being able to do anything or say anything without worrying about how the other person will feel about it. I know my husband feels the same way about this. We both miss our days when we could do what we wanted with our time without any explanations. I especially miss being able to sleep for as long as I want to - lazy bum that I am and eating nothing but junk food all day. I would also not have to think twice before I said something for fear of being misinterpreted. The flip side of this state though is the loneliness that catches you unaware. Often I would do something as simple as watch a movie or listen to a song and want to share it with someone - that is when I would miss having a partner. It does not matter how good a friend circle you have, you still feel lonely if you do not have someone of your own.

Now if I talk about being married or in a relationship, it's great having someone to talk to, share stuff and just do mundane stuff with, like buying groceries. However, it is important that the person is on the same wavelength as you and that you understand each other. For people like me who stepped into marriage after a quick courtship, that understanding takes a little time to come. You also have to work at it. What I love about being married is the feeling that there is someone I can depend on, someone who takes care of you, someone to pamper, someone who has my back at all times and I sincerely hope that he feels the same. As time goes by, the bond only grows stronger. There are also small moments, when your eyes meet across a crowded room and you two are totally thinking about the same thing - something small but really special for me. Again, the flip side is that you need to curb your tendency to do everything by yourself and consider the other person's opinion in all things major. It can be a hurdle if you are a fiercely independent person.

There is a lot more that I can write, but I think I will leave you to ponder on what I have written so far. Just remember to get committed to a like-minded person and if you cannot find one, you can still have a rocking single life by yourself!